Metamorphoses
by Vivi Dahlin
Summary: A glimpse into the dark past of Anya; her life as Aud, her first meeting with Halfrek and transformation into Anyanka, and lots of other goodies.(Chapter 2 added: Halfrek spies on Aud's family. Aren't they lovely...)
1. Default Chapter

**Title:** _Metamorphoses_

**Author: **Vivi Dahlin

**Summary:** A glimpse into the past of Anya; her life as Aud, her first meeting with Halfrek and transformation into Anyanka, and lots of other goodies. Or, badies, I guess.

**Author's note: **Well, this story has been gathering dust in my computer for a while now. It's one I started and was all gung-ho about, but haven't gotten around to finishing yet. I still love it and want to finish it, and I'm hoping that getting it up for people to read and review will be the kick in the pants I need to write the rest. So, please leave some feedback to let me know if you're interested in reading more. I do have a second chapter finished, which I will be adding later. Also, I know some of the story might not fit with things that were said/shown on the show, but I like my way better. :)

* * *

Sweden, 870 A.D.

The butterfly was truly stunning to behold. Fascinated, Halfrek extended her index finger in a delicate, graceful motion, not to disturb the creature that was perched there, and brought it to eye level.

"Fear not, little one."

Quivering at the touch of Halfrek's breath, the butterfly spread its glossy purple wings, prepared to take flight. When no more words were spoken it seemed to change its mind and remained in place. Halfrek grinned as two maidens tripped past on the cobblestone path, arms linked, their gazes envious as they practically twisted their necks out of place to watch her charming display. She made a showy flourish with her hand and one of the girls gasped, finding that the butterfly again had not flown away, but now rested on the back of Halfrek's hand like a living bauble that relocated itself on command. Had the companions continued to stare they would have seen Halfrek's next trick: pinching the butterfly's wings, she expertly separated them from its thorax.

Strange how the creature's legs continued to twitch, Halfrek thought, as its body snapped and crunched between her teeth. That was a tad unsettling but worth bearing in order to reach the tart creamy substance that followed. Of all the insects, butterflies were Halfrek's favorite treat. And a useful one at that. She carefully pocketed the identical set of wings that would later come in handy for a charm, or better yet, a hex, and continued her journey to the center of this humdrum village she had been drawn to for days.

It was becoming somewhat tedious, traipsing among the villagers daily, searching for the one who desired her. Truth be known, Halfrek had felt a force pulling her to this place for several years, but she kept hidden her failure to discern which forlorn soul was calling out to her, and not only for fear of losing favor with D'Hoffryn. Never before was there a time she had experienced so much confusion and uncertainty when seeking a mortal in need of justice. Dealing with children was difficult, yes - they were so fickle and apt to forget the slights done to them, forgiving their adversaries before a vengeful wish could even piece itself together in their silly little minds. This child (or at least Halfrek assumed it was a child, since most of her wishers were), however, emanated such a garbled soul-cry, that Halfrek barely recognized its owner as male or female, a distinction that was almost always well-pronounced. It made her feel inept, an emotion that should have disappeared a hundred years ago, along with her conscience.

But today she was confident. The child's distress was growing, Halfrek sensed it. Soon she would be exacting all sorts of tortures on someone, possibly several some ones, and from the feel of it, this would be one hellacious bit of revenge she would get to perform. Uplifted by that thought, Halfrek snatched the kerchief off her head, setting free a mop of chestnut curls, and waved it about as she skipped and twirled her way further into the village, completely ignoring the scandalized stares of a group of old women who were stooped over their baskets of wool. Knowing she would never have to look that frail and haggard, that her beauty was eternal, lifted Halfrek's spirits twice as high and she was contemplating an impromptu levitation when she saw the child. And she knew. This was the child she had searched for. So strong was Halfrek's certainty that she had to restrain herself from pouncing upon it, shaking it and demanding it tell her its every wicked, immoral desire, that she might sooner unleash the havoc surging through her veins pleading to be let out. She even heard the child's name whispered in her ear... no, screamed into her ear by whomever the cause of Aud's suffering was. Aud, that was its name. A girl. Nine years of age. A despicable child, a curse. No better than the rabbits she tended.

Overwhelmed by excitement, it took Halfrek a moment to realize that she was not listening to the thoughts of Aud herself, but instead those of Aud's mother, a woman named Tofa. Peculiar. Had she, Halfrek, Mother of the Motherless, been summoned by a parent to destroy a child? That almost never happened. She would not have been opposed to it, but the nearer she came to Aud, the more certain Halfrek was that it was the little wretch's soul that was bleeding. Why Aud's thoughts were obscured puzzled Halfrek.

"Aud!" Halfrek rushed in the girl's direction, waving her kerchief in the air again. An odd, dilapidated well poked out of the ground not far ahead and when she hurried by, Halfrek impulsively tossed the wide square of fabric towards it, as if freeing herself of a hindering weight. She failed to notice that the minute her kerchief lit upon the ancient stone structure the vibrant red was no longer material, but streams of blood that flowed down the well's side and pooled at its edge.

No matter how many times her name was repeated, the fool child would not acknowledge that Halfrek was speaking to her. Losing patience, Halfrek risked making witnesses of the villagers and teleported herself closer to Aud, who was surprisingly quick for such a wisp of a thing. Not a single head turned, not even when Halfrek placed a less than gentle grip on Aud's arm and spun her around so they were facing. Aud dropped the large head of cabbage she was holding.

"What is the matter-" Halfrek began, then caught herself when a jolt traveled into her hand from beneath Aud's skin. Much as she loved the sensation a mortal's terror gave, she knew that it would interfere with her task if the child was frightened by her. Unfortunately, one had to bond with these humans in order to be privy to their darkest wishes.

Releasing Aud's arm, Halfrek knelt to the girl's level and retrieved the cabbage, patting away some dirt before handing the vegetable over.

"I beg your pardon, love."

Aud hesitated before snatching at the cabbage with grubby hands. The child's face was expressionless, but the aroma of fear still wafted from her pores and Halfrek yearned to touch her again. Under the guise of adjusting mussed hair, Halfrek fondled a dainty blond curl that rested on Aud's forehead, and allowed her fingers to trail across the smooth yet dirty skin beneath.

"Beautiful," Halfrek murmured, her thoughts not once centered on the girl's looks. Perhaps there was a pretty creature under that ragged, smelly tunic and layers of grime, but the beauty Halfrek referred to was the pure emotion within Aud. It was interrupted by nothing, just a steady wave of fright, more intense than Halfrek had known any human could have.

The sudden emptiness she felt when Aud broke contact and sprinted off made Halfrek cry out in protest. Forgetting her own powers to manipulate time, distance and location, she hastened after the child, calling, "Aud! Wait!"

"She won't hear."

Breathless, Halfrek paused to gape at the old fellow who had been observing her and the child - for how long she did not know - and waited impatiently for him to explain his statement.

"She can't hear you," he said, drawing his shoulders up in a careless shrug. He seemed annoyed when Halfrek continued to look at him, bewildered. He spread open his gnarled hand, roughly clapping a palm against his ear. "Child's deaf and dumb. No words go in, no words come out. Been that-a way since she came into t'world."

"But-" Halfrek glanced towards the end of the forked road, hoping to see which way Aud had turned. The child was nowhere in sight. She shot a furious glare at the now talkative codger who had detained her, pondering whether she had time to disembowel him. She might have, had he not been so forthcoming with information. Ears piqued, she allowed him to finish his tale.

"T'mother reckons t'child's cursed." The old man clucked his tongue disapprovingly. "Rubbish. You ask me, it's t'mother that's cursed. She t'one who's husband got killed by that-a Viking, she t'one who got herself violated by him. Child can't help it she was birthed from it. But she go on living in that fine cottage with her other children and treats that poor little wench more like a serf than flesh and blood. Makes her live like them beasts she raises, then comes prancing into town like wealth redeems all. Mm-mm-mm, you can bet I see right through that-a whore."

Brow furrowed in concentration, Halfrek tried to make sense of the rambling speech. It confirmed that Tofa despised her offspring, but from the sound of it Aud had every right to return the sentiment. Aud, the mute child who had no understanding of language. Halfrek sighed heavily and cut the man off before he could begin questioning what she wanted with the girl.

The distance to Aud's home might have been miles, but Halfrek decided to travel as a human and walk it. Her instincts would guide her in the right direction, and the less rushing she did, the more time she had to savor the musky scent of fear that Aud had left trailing behind her.


	2. Playtime

**Chapter 2**

* * *

PLAYTIME

Tofa watched with delight out the scullery window as her son and daughter frolicked on the grounds, tossing a cabbage ball back and forth, its arc increasing, their laughter coming in shrieks as Aud whirled first towards Erp, then towards Silksif, arms stretched painfully high as she leapt at each throw and missed. This was a popular sport, one the children played whenever Aud brought home more rabbit feed, and that simpleton girl fell for it every single time. If just once the child had shown signs of intelligence, Tofa was certain she could overlook Aud's infirmity, but moments like these only proved there was no point in trying.

"Audhumla, Audhumla, bringing greens home for her rabbits," Erp sang out, heaving the cabbage so hard he lost his balance and toppled onto the grass.

"How ever will she feed them if she never can quite nab it!" Silksif squealed, cowering as the ball neared her. It plopped at her feet and she scooped it up quickly, making a wild pitch to her brother when she saw Aud advancing.

The game took a chaotic turn as Aud careened headlong into Silksif, having lost her footing, and both girls plunged into their mother's garden, Aud struggling to free herself from Silksif, who kicked and screamed like a madman being dragged to the gallows. Erp lay a few feet away, his almond-brown eyes widened in horror.

"Get her off me, get her off me! Mamma!"

Positive that his sister was being murdered, Erp launched himself upright and reached the flowerbed in three long strides. Aud had already made it to her feet and was trying to tame one of Silksif's floundering arms long enough to assist the girl in standing. Erp gave Aud the most vicious shove he could muster, in the process receiving a series of blows to the shin by the hysterical Silksif. He opened his mouth to howl, but forgot to be hurt when he noticed the squiggle of blood that had formed under Silksif's nostril.

Tofa, winded from her dash out of the thatched roof cottage and onto the lawn, gasped at the sight of her daughter tangled in clumps of delicately flowered vines, nose bleeding. "Silky!"

"Aud did it, Mamma. She made me ruin your ivy."

Aud stood to the side, sullen and motionless as one of the nymph sculptures that decorated Tofa's garden, her arm cradled to her chest as it had been since Erp's attack sent her reeling. Fearing her own injuries - imagined or real - would be overlooked, Silksif erupted into tears, face burrowed in hands. When she drew back and noticed the watered-down crimson streaks on her palms, the sobs became real and twice as loud.

No amount of cajoling from Tofa or Erp would quiet the girl.

"I hate her. Why do you let her stay, Mamma? She's naughty and hateful and... and she smells like dirty rabbit fur." Silksif stamped the last insult into the ground with her heel, shaking off Tofa and Erp when they tried to help steady her.

"Calm yourself, pet." Tofa gingerly plucked a leaf from the girl's blond ringlets. "I've told you before, she must stay. The world is not kind to her sort. And though she may be troublesome, she is of some use. You wouldn't want to be stuck with her chores, now would you?"

"You always side with her. You love her more than me and she's not even a person, not really. She's nothing."

Consumed by rage, Silksif marched towards Aud and landed a sound smack across the child's ashen cheek. "Do you hear me, cow? You're nothing." Silksif's aim never missed its mark as each slap became more ferocious, egged on by her disgust that Aud simply stood there and took it. _"Nothing!"_

Tofa had never seen her eldest daughter in such a state. A pang of guilt made her look away, momentarily shamed that she allowed this to go on in her presence. But it would be hypocrisy to stop it, when she herself had punished Aud in the same fashion on more than one occasion. There was release in it. The fault had to lie somewhere -- the fault for Tofa's dead husband, the fault for the unwanted child his murderer had placed in her belly, and all the hardships she had faced since. Aud was an easy target, her mere existence a constant reminder of that day ten years past. The child's condition was proof enough she wasn't meant to be. A mistake of the gods, Tofa believed, not to be treated as anything more.

Assuring herself that Aud didn't possess feelings, Tofa allowed Silksif to finish her temper tantrum, then ushered the exhausted girl into the cottage, Erp tagging along after he had taken pause to spit at Aud's feet.

* * *

Halfrek lowered the hood of her cloak and peered at the solitary figure standing near the cottage. A cluster of spruce trees extending from the dense forest that shrouded Aud's home had offered a tranquil and pleasantly scented hideaway, perfect for viewing the little family tragedies and other goings-on Halfrek had witnessed in the week since her discovery of Aud. Ordinarily Halfrek would have confronted the child again and finagled a wish out of her long before it came to this, this undignified spying from the wood, but Aud was anything besides ordinary.

She might not speak or think in an accessible language, but there was a soul behind those doe eyes (yes, despite what the imbecilic mother believed) and so much life, so much strength that it took Halfrek's breath away. She would have been envious if that weren't such an absurd concept: one of D'Hoffryn's favored daughters envious of a shabby child whose only purpose in life was maintaining smelly rodents! Still, every time Aud's emotions surged, be it joyfulness and love for her rabbits, or the degradation and pain inflicted by her family, they intoxicated Halfrek with their sheer power. She was almost pleased with the setback Aud's inability to speak had caused. Almost.

Halfrek gasped and slid further into the shadows when Aud suddenly turned from the cottage and faced her. If she had been spotted, the girl gave no indication, just a tilt of the head that made visible a bright smear of blood on the cheek assaulted by that vulgar beastcalled Silksif. Aud touched the red mark, eyes fixed and unreadable, then licked clean her fingertip. Quivers danced along Halfrek's spine when a strange metallic taste flooded her own mouth. Again she felt a force pulling her toward the child, like they were at a game of tug o' war and Aud was winning, and she found herself creeping behind Aud, who had retrieved her disheveled cabbage and wandered off to the rabbit hutch.

Something akin to affection filled Halfrek as she watched Aud supping with her furry companions. Rabbits were usually skittish around humans, but they flocked to Aud, eating from her hands and never straying far from her side as she sat in their midst nibbling at a cabbage leaf. When one adventuresome bunny did eventually try to hop away, Halfrek saw her opportunity and seized it. Peppering the animal with a neutralizing powder to ensure it would not fight, Halfrek gathered it to her breast and strode into the feeding pen. The rabbit took up thrashing the moment she placed it at Aud's feet.

"This little rogue was about to escape."

Catching Aud by the shoulders before she could scramble upright, Halfrek echoed the phrase she so often fed her prey: "Fear not. I mean you no harm." And as proof, she seated herself in the dirt, casual as you please, and selected a downy white bundle to hold in her lap. Luckily this rabbit was far more subdued than the other and needed only a light stroke between the ears to keep still.

"I think he likes me, don't you?"

Halfrek cast a sly look at Aud and grinned to find the child studying her carefully. "Ah, so you do remember me, then. I should have known you would. I'm afraid we got off to a bad start, you and I. I've been waiting for the right time to introduce myself to you properly, without frightening you away again."

Aud stared, paying close attention to Halfrek's mouth.

"My name is Halfrek. And you are Aud, of course." Halfrek made a flippant gesture. "Imust have heard it from someone in town."

She lifted the rabbit and nestled her cheek in its soft fur. "Does this one have a name?"

Aud responded by snatching the rabbit from Halfrek and hugging it protectively.

"Well." Halfrek chuckled. "Aren't we ornery. Take care you don't turn out like Silksif, my dear. One of those in the world is enough."

Losing interest, or at least pretending to, Aud left Halfrek on the ground and went about garnering the rabbits, placing several of them in her apron skirt and depositing them in their hutch. Halfrek remained seated and acted as though she didn't notice the child's occasional glance over the shoulder. When every rabbit was accounted for, Aud disappeared inside the small storage hut that stood nearby the feeding pen. Halfrek knew it was the child's dwelling place, Tofa's cottage being out of the question, and she was debating whether any boundaries would be overstepped by entering, but Aud saved her the trouble by coming back outside.

Any surprise to see Halfrek still sitting inside the pen was absent from Aud's face as she nudged aside the gate, favoring one arm, and plopped onto the grassy section that was farthest away from the woman.

"What have you got there?" Halfrek inched her way closer, scooting on her rear until she was within arms reach and could see that the girl was holding a family of ragamuffin dolls made from scraps of grain sack. "Oh, fun. May I play?"

Aud spread all four dolls neatly on the ground and looked to Halfrek. It was as much of an invite as she was going to get, and Halfrek took it, eagerly choosing the smallest doll of the bunch. "I want to be the baby," she said, fussing with the droopy skirt her new toy was dressed in. It looked like it had been sewn on by a blind monkey. "I gather you made these yourself."

Busy toddling the doll through the grass and speaking in a high-pitched voice, Halfrek took a while to notice Aud's much quieter - and therefore less enjoyable - method of play. Holding the largest doll in one hand, Aud brought forth the smaller pair and mashed them together, then wrapped them in a tight embrace. Her lips puckered, she dabbed silent kisses atop each scruffy cloth head. She repeated this process several times before pausing to look at Halfrek's doll.

"Allow me," Halfrek said, preparing to make her own rare display of affection. It would be easier to carry out on a lifeless bit of knotted rag. The doll was halfway to her lips when Aud yanked it free.

"Hey!"

Vexed with having everything jerked from her grasp, Halfrek reached to take back her plaything but missed. She was considering whether a look at her true face might scare Aud into letting go, when the child's actions became distracting. All hints of caressing gone, Aud was using the two medium dolls, one wearing what looked to be trousers and the other in a dress, to pound the smaller figure senseless. Her fury mounted until finally she threw down the weapons, picked up the pulverized toy and twisted off one of its tiny dangling arms.

"Oh, I see." Halfrek looked around at the strewn rag family. Taking caution incase the violent scene wasn't finished, she pointed at each doll in turn, starting with the largest, the mother, and said, "Tofa. Silksif. Erp."

Aud handed the limp and smallest member of the doll family back to Halfrek.

"Aud," Halfrek murmured, cupping the broken baby lightly in her palm and tracing its coal-sketched outline of a mouth with her finger. When the real Aud took her by the hand, Halfrek was too startled to pull away. She let herself be guided until her fingertips touched flesh, the child's silent lips. Halfrek grazed the pad of her thumb against Aud's plump bottom lip and vowed, "I won't let it go on much longer. I promise."


End file.
